So I'm trying to teach Mac how to be more tactful in public -- quite a challenge since he has no clue about such things and he is very literal -- so he says what he thinks and sees and that's that

He's on a break right now from swim lessons but at his last lesson a couple weeks ago he started up a discussion with a lady who was in the lane next to him.  Not unusual, he'll talk to anybody who shows the slightest hint of listening to him -- he has certainly found his "words" at long last!  Anyway, his lesson was over so I called him over to me and was drying him off a bit.  He called good-bye to the lady and she said good-bye back and then told me what a sweet little boy he was -- I said thanks.  Then Mac looks up at me with a smile and says "yes, mommy, I told the nice lady she was fat" I think I turned bright red on the spot.  The lady laughed and said it was no big deal, he was just being honest as kids tend to be -- I apologized.  Fortunately the lady seemed to understand about five year old boys.  But Mac and I had a talk about saying things that might hurt people's feelings.  Certainly he has never heard me speak like that but I suspect the kids at preschool are not always the best example

So yesterday we're out and about and Mac points out a lady in a crowd and says to me -- "mommy, she's not fat, she's just big."  Sigh.  At least he didn't shout it, but I can see this is going to need some more work! 

What is this?

Sorry to have been gone for so long -- combination of things including I just haven't been feeling all that great although it varies a lot from day to day, some days I feel great and other days are no fun. 

Anyway, a bit of a catch up.  Alex started First grade and she's doing fine.  She is always my social one so she enjoys being back with her friends.  Mac celebrated his 5th birthday with a family/friend party and a Transformers cake.  He had a great time.  He also started back this month to a couple days a week at preschool (Goddard) and he has also been realy happy to be back with his friends.

We've been busy most weekends with various activities.  Last weekend we had the baptism of our good friend's baby (Evelyn, known as Evie).  Robert is a Godfather.  It was at the Cathedral and very nice.  This weekend I took the kids to Twin City Days and they had a great time.

Hmm, what else -- we (the kids and I) have started at a new church and that has been a good change.  Oh, and we joined a new 4-H group that has started up which has been good because I can take both kids to the events and not have to worry about one or the other feeling left out.

Anyway, that's some of what has been going on here.  I'll write more over the next few days as I get going again

What is this?

It's going to a really busy couple of weeks so I figure I should be napping or something right now -- to save up my energy.  I did get the kids out for haircuts this morning so they would both be presentable -- more or less   Let's see, Alex starts school next Wednesday (Open House is Tuesday night), then we have Mac's birthday party next Satuday which is always the same weekend as my favorite Book Fair.  Then the next weekend is the Union picnic.  Then the weekend after that is a pool party given by our friends Jeff and Clarrissa (who are also godparents to our kids).  And then there is Evie's baptism soon after that -- Jeff and Clarissa's new little girl.  Oh, and starting early in September we're going to try and get Mac started back to Goddard for a couple days a week for preschool. 

Hmm, maybe I should plan a nap for tommorow too!

What is this?

I might have mentioned that Alex has been worried about her first grade teacher being mean -- because some of the kids very helpfully told her that the teacher she was assigned to for next year was "very, very mean".  I've been trying to explain to her that a teacher is generally not mean if the student is well behaved and does their work.  Not granted that is not always the case, I have had a couple teachers that did seem to be mean (or at least very grumpy) for no particular reason but most teachers that I've dealt with have been fine if not very nice.  Alex, however, has remained sure that her teacher is going to be mean to her -- sigh.

So yesterday Alex got a cute postcard in the mail.  She was impressed to get mail and she sat down and read it to me (all by herself, I might add).  When we got to the signature I pointed out it was the name of her new teacher.  Alex thought about this for a few minutes and then smiled -- "I guess she's not really mean after all, or she wouldn't have sent me a postcard!"  Well, there you go  

All I can see is that I really hope the teacher turns out to be really nice -- or Alex will spend the next year reminding me of how very wrong I was -- sigh.

What is this?

Well, today is my birthday.  Nothing big planned for today -- we don't do a lot for our birthdays anymore (the adults I mean).  The kids will have a cake for me tonight so they can sing Happy Birthday.  Mac loves to sing that, he's been practicing all week   Tomorrow night we are going out to eat (the kids will have their cousin to watch them) -- our favorite sushi restaurant is open again.  It had a big fire a few months ago and we were worried it wasn't going to open again at all, but it has reopened just in time for my birthday -- yhea! 

My birthday wish is going to be that the legal problems are resolved (now that they've dragged out for months) so I can get my life back -- so I can stop worrying about that stuff -- and that I stay healthy!  No more hospital vists/stays!! 

It's been a rough year since my last birthday -- I'm hoping this will be a better one!

What is this?

The dinner party last night went very well -- better then I expected actually.  The couple were very nice and we had a nice time.  And their son, Sam, had a good time playing with Mac and Alex.  It was so cute -- Alex gave Sam a good-bye present (her favorite pencil sharpener) and Mac gave him a big hug and told him he would miss him  

This morning we went to church -- we've been going to new church -- trying it out.  So far I like it quite a bit.  The kids have been trying out the kids programs (rooms) as well and they both have been enjoying them.  Alex is impressed because her room has a disco ball for when they dance around -- not sure why -- I guess just to make things more fun.  Alex also liked that they have a guitar player for her room so they have live music.  Mac is in the "Safari" room and has been telling me it's lots of fun.

We found out this morning that our nephew is in the hospital with gall bladder/pancritis (sp?) and had to have surgery.  He's only 18 which seems rather young for such problems but he's doing better this evening.  Hopefully he'll be out of the hospital in the next couple days.

We had Grandma and Grandpa and our niece (since her parents were at the hospital all day) for dinner tonight. 

I am exhausted now -- talk about a long weekend!

What is this?

Ok, I don't hate it -- I'm trying to break Mac of saying he "hates" everything -- so I'll say instead that I seriously dislike cleaning   I have spent most of the day cleaning the house for company to arrive at 4.  I mean I just cleaned the house really well last week for Mac's playdate so it doesn't look awful but I had DH hanging around all day today fussing about how this wasn't quite right and that wasn't quite right -- sigh.  So it's been a long day.  And I barely know the people that he has invited so it could be a very long dinner.  And the kids are bouncing off the walls.  I think I need a nap

On the up side I made some really tasty cupcakes with the kids this morning -- they had a lot of fun with that.  And we picked up the last few things that Alex needed to start school in about two weeks.  Mac got a new backpack -- Alex got a new one for school so he needed one too, of course.  I'm hoping to send him back to Goddard (preschool) for a couple days a week starting in September -- he really could use it before starting kindergarten.  So he'll use the backpack for that.  He picked out a Lightening McQueen one which surprised me -- I was sure he'd go for Transformers or Spiderman. 

Anyway, I'm off to set the table and make the appetizer -- a tomato and mozzarella stacker.

What is this?

Now that the summer reading program is coming to an end I must say that we've had a fun summer of library events.  Today we went to one called Artistic Animals that was presented by the Zoo.  The kids had a great time -- they got to do some arts and crafts (their favorite was making multi-color mice like in one of their favorite books Mouse Paint) and then they got to see three animals up close and personal.  They got to pet a Bearded Dragon, a Screech Owl (I just love Screech Owls!) and a Guinea Pig (very cute!).  It was really crowded but they made sure that everyone got a chance to pet each animal so that was nice.  Alex and Mac talked all the way home about how cool they thought each animal was and how they wanted to adopt one of each of them -- I don't think I can fit a Screech Owl into the house with the cats though

I haven't been feeling good the last couple days -- for some reason every once in a while my stomach gets really upset and I feel lousy for a while.  Not sure why, maybe it's just the whole not having a colon or something.  But it can make life rather miserable.  Hopefully it will settle down.  I was really glad to get home from the library though so I could lay down on the couch for a while and rest. 

I was supposed to clean the house since we're having company for dinner tomorrow night but I decided to deal with that tomorrow.  Hopefully I'll have more energy for it by then!

What is this?

I have put off taking Mac to a movie -- he's not known for being able to sit quietly for very long   But I decided to take the plunge today on a whim and I took the two kids to see G-Force (which turned out to be in 3-D which I didn't realize would be the case).  I must say that Mac really surprised me -- he did quite well.  He got a bit antsy when the FBI agents were doing a lot of talking and ended up on my lap for the last half hour but he watched the whole movie and was quiet and well behaved.  Hmm, I have been underestimating him it seems -- he can sit quietly for longer periods if he really wants to! 

The movie was very cute -- Alex has been begging to see it since it has lots of guinea pigs and hamsters and mice, etc.  It even had a giant "robot" monster at the end which was Mac's favorite part -- no big surprise there   Alex liked at the very end when all the animals have a dance party.  We had fun and now I know that I can take Mac to a movie once in a while, as long as it doesn't have too many slow parts. 

What is this?

Well, not any time soon at least   My brother-in-law called me up to tell me a funny story about Mac.  I had left Mac and Alex over at their house for a few hours last week while I went for my doctor's appointment.  Their cousin watched them but her Dad was there also.  So they took the kids down to the bottom of the hill by their house where there is a creek -- Mac loves that, of course, what could be more fun then water, mud, sticks, rocks and no Mom or Dad to tell him not to make a big mess!

Anyway, they played for a bit and then Mac said he had to go to the bathroom.  His uncle suggested he just go piddle behind a tree rather then hike all the way back up to the house.  Mac was astonished -- he looked up at his Uncle with big eyes and said, "You want me to piddle on the ground like a dog?!"  After much convincing he agreed to try but couldn't go so they hiked back up so he could use a real bathroom. 

I just laughed and laughed when I heard that -- I can just picture the horrified look he must have given his Uncle at the very thought of doing such a thing   No way was he buying that anyone would ever do such a thing -- so I guess we better not take him camping for a while

What is this?

It's been a busy week and here it's Sunday and I'm trying to get ready for the next week!  Grandma was sick this past week so I had the kids all week -- which is fine, but it made for a long week of trying to do things for the business while also keeping the kids busy.  On Wednesday I took Alex to her horse lesson and let Mac run around the stable.  The ducks they have are now almost full-sized and swimming around the small pond -- they grow up so fast!  On Thursday we went to lunch with one of the few friends I still have from when I was working -- that was nice.  On Friday we had Henry and his brother Joe over for a playdate with Mac (and Alex).  They had a great time playing in the little pool and creating chaos with Mac's toys   Yesterday we stayed home most of the day but went out last night to walk around the mall -- just to get out of the house for a bit.  Today we went to church and then Robert took the kids to Mastadon Park and let them hunt crawdads in the creek.  We have the in-laws down for dinner tonight -- pork steaks on the grill.  And then we start the new week.  Grandma is feeling better so I'll be able to send the kids to her tomorrow which is good since I have to go get my drivers license renewed -- and I'm sure that will be just so much fun -- sigh.

What is this?

I always dread doctor visits because they take so long and I'm not a patient person.  I always take a book along, of course, but I still find it frustrating to waste hours to see the doctor for all of ten minutes.  Fortunately I only have to see the thyroid doctor once a year.  The kids were going to be watched by their cousin, who was, of course, running late, so I had to rush to get to the doctor's office which is a 40 minute drive from home. Then find a parking place -- always fun.  Then get to the 13th floor with overfilled elevators that move very, very slowly -- sigh.  I finally made it, waited for ages, saw the doctor for my ten minutes, and then waited some more for a blood test.  Finally got all that done and then had to get back out of the parking garage and back home to get the kids.  And now I'm tired! 

I need a nap after all that

What is this?

I am not usually fond of rainy days because the kids get restless and I can't send them outside.  I lucked out this morning though -- Robert took the kids to the park for a hike before it started raining.  So that gave me some peace and quiet to get the house cleaned and laundry going. 

After lunch they settled down at the computer for a while and actually played on it together -- a rare event!  I finallly told them they had been on long enough and Mommy wanted a turn   So they are in Mac's bedroom playing a game -- "toy fairy" Mac has informed me -- whatever that might be

Grandma and Grandpa are coming down for dinner -- we're going to have fried chicken, pasta salad and cole slaw.  Other then that it's just been a quiet day around the house.

Tomorrow I'm supposed to be doing this research study in the morning -- something to do with chewing gum of all things.  I thought it might be interesting and they pay for my time, so we'll see how that goes!

What is this?

The last couple months I've been entering contests -- as a way to win some things that we wouldn't be able to afford right now -- I mostly win books but that's fine since I love to read and the library doesn't always have the latest things for quite a while.  If I don't read them, or I win a duplicate, I set them aside for gifts since everyone in our family reads -- books are always a great gift in our family group fortunately.

Sometimes I win a non-book gift like a gift card or clothing -- I've won a couple really cute t-shirts for myself.  But about two weeks ago I won a t-shirt from a company called Indie Kidz.  I picked out a really cute black Robot t-shirt that I knew Mac would love -- he's very into robots.  I debated about holding onto it for his birthday but then decided he might as well get some use out of during the summer (since his birthday isn't until the end of August) and with my luck he might have a growth spurt by then

The shirt arrived yesterday and I gave it to Mac -- he was thrilled.  The robots on it are very cute and he's been marching around the house talking like a robot and insisting we call him "Robot Mac"   And it's even an eco-friendly shirt -- not quite sure what that means but I think it's a good thing. 

Alex informed me that I have to enter some contests to win her a shirt too -- but she already claimed the one t-shirt I won that featured a dinosaur.  It has become her nightshirt -- I only got to wear it once!

I didn't tell her that I have already won one of her Christmas presents -- the Bella Sara horse cards that she loves so much and is on her list for Santa!

Now if I could just win the rest of the Christmas list I'd be doing great!

What is this?

And I'm exhaustingly tired today -- partly due to the heat and partly due to not sleeping well last night. 

We did the grocery store as soon as the kids rousted themselves this morning before it got even hotter as the day wore on.  One nice thing -- the young man who was behind us in line at Shop N Save helped me bag the groceries -- that was very sweet of him.  And both kids helped to haul the groceries from the garage, up the stairs, to the kitchen.  So it didn't take as long as usual. 

Other then that I have been doing bookwork from Robert's business and the kids have been playing zoo and horse camp, with some bickering, but not too bad.

Yesterday we went to the library for a musical story time which both kids enjoyed and then we stopped at Dairy Queen as a special treat. 

Tomorrow we're taking clothes and some toys up to the second hand store -- they start taking winter stuff tomorrow and I don't want to miss it as I tend to do

What is this?

She was very nervous, of course, but she did great.  We were there at 7:15 and it only took them about 10 minutes to actually get the tooth out.  Then about 15-20 minutes for her to wake up enough that we could head for home.  The nurses and the doctor were all very nice and helpful (I really appreciated how gentle and upbeat they were with Alex).  They were really impressed with how well Alex handled it all.  We were home by 9:45 and I gave her some popsicles and made her jello.  She ended up like not liking the jello so we switched to ice cream instead.  By lunch time she was driving me nuts with how hungry she was so I gave her some barely warm chicken and stars soup (she's not supposed to have anything too hot today). 

She's obviously doing fine since she's talking my ear off and asking for food every five minutes   Amazing how fast kids can bounce back! 

The funny thing is that they gave her the tooth (for the tooth fairy, of course) and it has this really long root -- it's a very strange looking tooth.  The nurse at the oral surgeon's said that they have lots of people who have "extra" teeth, some even have extra wisdom teeth (ouch!). 

I'm just glad we've gotten through it and Alex seems to be fine -- hopefully now her front teeth will have a chance to straighten out since they were being pushed aside by the extra tooth.  The dentist said we would be surprised at how quickly the teeth would realign once they had the space they needed. 

What is this?

The kids had a great Fourth -- they both loved the fireworks although I think Mac was going to explode himself from the excitement -- he is still talking about how neat it was today   We had to postpone our BBQ because of the on again off again rain but we're going to do that this evening.  We made sphaghetti instead which Alex was thrilled about -- she loves Daddy's sphaghetti the best!   They were both so tired when we came home (we were just next door at the neighbors house) that they fell asleep very quickly -- which was nice. 

Today we have been doing chores around the house, watched a movie (Ratouille), read some books (the Toby series that Mac brought home from the library, and getting things ready to BBQ.  Grandma and Grandpa are going to come down to join us. 

It's going to be a busy week, especially with Alex's oral surgery on Tuesday.  We'll all be glad once that is over! 

I hope everyone had a great Fourth!

What is this?

Mac had a playdate today with his new buddy (as Mac refers to him) Henry.  We went to Henry's house and Mac got to play for a long time and then we all had lunch and then went on a hike.  I was exhausted   But it was a lot of fun and Mac had a blast.  They even have chickens which Mac got to feed -- he's going to be asking me for a chicken for Christmas now, I just know it

Alex is spending the day with Daddy -- he was going to take her to lunch with Uncle Ron and then to a movie (Ice Age).  I had offered to take her on the playdate with us but I'm glad Robert offered her another option since it was going to be all boys and she might not have enjoyed it as much -- although, honestly, she gets along pretty well with everybody. 

Anyway, I'm tired and could really use a nap but Mac is still going strong -- sigh.  Honestly he's like the Energizer Bunny!

What is this?

I'm talking about Mac, of course.  There have been quite a few days lately when he's been driving me up a wall.  But today was a good day -- he was on his best behavior all day for some reason.  Well, I know part of the reason, it was just me and him and we always do better when it's just the two of us.  I don't have to deal with the two of them bickering over every little thing which enables me to relax more.  Geez, it's a good thing we didn't have more then two kids -- I'd be a basketcase!

Anyway, Alex was at Grandma and Grandpa's today since she didn't get to be with them yesterday and she wrangled an invite to spend the day there without Mac.  Hmm, clever isn't she!  So I dropped her off and then took Mac over to a nearby park where he spent the next two hours riding his bike, running around the playgrounds and going on a hike with me.  He had a great time and I was glad that we were able to get outside and enjoy the pretty day.  After that we went by the library (they had a book for me to pick up) and he picked out videos for both himself and Alex and then books as well.  He was very cute about pointing out which books he thought his sister might like  

After lunch we got some ice cream as a special treat and then we headed home.  I did some work for Robert and Mac watched one of the videos and spent some time outside playing.  It was a quiet afternoon -- I think he was rather tired after all that time at the park.

We went and picked up Alex and then I made tacos for dinner.  And Mac actually ate a taco!!  I was amazed and very pleased -- he said he likes tacos now!  So I can add one more food to his very limited food consumption list, yhea! 

So far this evening he has been leaving his sister (and the cats) alone and being fairly quiet.  Either he's sick (which he doesn't appear to be) or there's been an invasion of the body snatchers while I wasn't looking -- who is this child -- he can't be mine.  I'm sure he'll be back to "normal" tomorrow since he and Alex will be around each other all day! 

But what a nice day today was anyway

What is this?

I've been worrying about a strange tooth that has suddenly appeared in the front of Alex's mouth.  She lost her front teeth and the adult ones are coming in and then all of a sudden this other tooth shows up right in between the front teeth.  What the heck is that!?!  I did some research and found that sometimes kids can have "extra" teeth for no apparent reason.  So I took her to a dentist this morning and, besides finding out that our new dental insurance is horrible and pays for almost nothing (!), we learned that she does in fact have an extra tooth -- sigh.

So I have to take her to an oral surgeon and have it removed since it is taking up space needed by her front teeth (and later her eye teeth).  Not to mention it would eventually make her very self-conscious since it looks like she has a fang in the middle of her upper front teeth! 

So next Tuesday we're going to the oral surgeon to have it extracted.  The insurance won't pay for gas so we'll have to pay for that entirely on our own -- like I would want to put a six year old through shots!  Are they nuts!  It's going to be expensive, of course, and we certainly don't need the added cost right now -- sigh.  And Alex is worried but I promised her lots of ice cream and pudding when she gets home and that got a smile out of her.

Just our bad luck she would have an extra tooth and need oral surgery at the age of six

What is this?

The kids are very busy in my garden at the moment -- they asked for shovels a little while ago -- not always a good sign for my plants

But it seems tonight they are looking for snails and lizards and frogs/toads.  So far they have found a lot of snails, several roly-poly bugs and one very big toad.  They have gathered all these into a big blue container (no lid so everyone can breathe well) for observation.  I told them that they could watch for a while and then everything (especially the toad!) must be returned to where they found them.  The toad is a regular in our garden and has been scooped up by the kids a couple times already -- he's probably thinking he should have chosen a different garden  

The kids have been looking for our resident lizard(s) but haven't seen them so far this evening.  Alex has managed to catch one of the lizards once which really surprised me considering how fast they usually move.  But she was gentle and it went back into the garden after some observation and discussion about lizard behavior and habitat. 

I remember doing all these things when I was a kid -- I was especially fond of roly-poly bugs and lizards.  What is it about kids and bugs

What is this?

I always figured that Alex would be the one who would create the most laundry for me -- and that it wouldn't be until she was older anyway.  But, no, it's Mac who seems to feel he must change clothes twenty times a day!  Honestly, that child goes through clothes like you wouldn't believe.  He will come in and tell me that his shirt is wet, or he got a spot on his pants or that he feels the shirt is "sad" (what?!) and he needs to change.  So he goes to his room, changes and heads off again.  This goes on throughout the day.  If he goes swimming in our little blow-up pool he almost never puts back on the clothes he had on before swimming -- they are now considered dirty! -- and if he goes swimming several times during a day then that's several changes of clothes. 

So I've taken to simply folding the clothes that are still clean and putting them back in his drawers -- I don't want to waste water and energy cleaning clothes that aren't actually dirty.  The ones with spots do go in the wash, of course.  I've been waiting to see if he would call me on the fact that some of the clothes have simply reappeared in his drawers but he hasn't.   Maybe he thinks I can do laundry that quickly

And I think I'm going to teach him to do laundry at a very early age!

What is this?

The kids and I went to a Ronald McDonald magic show yesterday -- I wasn't sure if Mac would enjoy it since I never know if he's going to sit still for something although he certainly has been getting better as he gets older.  But he, and Alex as well, had a blast.  The guy who was dressed up as Ronald did a really nice job with the show and kept the kids interested.  Afterwards he talked to each child individually and signed autographs and gave everyone cookies and a toy. 

Alex and Mac told him that their Godmother was a clown -- Silly Jilly.  They were pleased when Ronald said that Silly Jilly was a good friend of his and he had even seen her in the balloon documentary.  How many kids can claim a clown for a Godmother   They love when she comes over to visit all dressed up and makes them balloon animals.  She also came to visit me in the hospital the last time I was sick and made balloon animals for me as well -- I got a lot of compliments from the nurses and doctors about them   I'm always impresed with just how many animals one can make out of balloons!

What is this?

I never sleep as well in hot weather so I feel like I'm dragging today -- I don't like really cold weather but the really hot weather isn't much fun either   Anyway, I took the kids to a craft thing at the library this morning -- they go to make collages out of candy.  Both of them enjoyed that although I had to convince Alex that she couldn't eat the leftovers and explain to Mac that putting a mini-M&M in your nose is not a good idea -- sigh.  But they were much better today then yesterday.  Well, except for Mac pushing on the emergency door and setting off an ear splitting alarm!  But he didn't do it on purpose and was very contrite about it -- he went over on his own and apolgized to the librarian.  

After the library we did our weekly trip to Shop n' Save where were managed to get our shopping down with a minimal amount of bickering which was nice.  Alex even helped me carry all the groceries into the house (up the stairs) which I thought was very sweet of her. 

We're home for the afternoon to try and stay cool.  The kids have videos from the library so they are resting and watching those -- Alex brought home Lady and the Tramp and Mac is watching a Charlie Brown one   I wish I could sneak in a nap!!

What is this?

Honestly, the bickering is going to drive me up a wall before we ever get to back to school time.  Why do they have to bicker constantly?!  Bah!

Alex had her riding lesson early today since it's been so hot.  I took art supplies to try and keep Mac busy but that didn't last long.  Then we hiked around looking at the dogs, cat, ducks, donkey, lop-eared bunnies and, of course, many horses while Alex was riding.  I was so hot -- sigh.  But at least it kept Mac busy so he wasn't annoying Alex and/or her instructor. 

In the afternoon we went to a craft time at the library -- magic noodles.  I had never heard of magic noodles but the kids had a lot of fun playing with them so that was fine. 

We picked up the new signs for DH's truck and dropped off birthday cards for Grandpa. 

It would have been a nice day if not for the periodic bickering throughout the day and my getting frustrated with it.  I need to learn to ignore it I know but that's easier said then done I've found -- sigh.

Tomorrow I have the grocery store with both of them -- oh joy! 

What is this?

Alex is finished with Critter Club (which she really enjoyed) now so I took both her and Mac up to Grandma's this morning for the day.  This involved two kids, two backpacks filled with toys (they barely zipped close), one bike (Mac's) and swimsuits so they could play in the hose. 

I had told them that anything they took (besides the bike and swimsuits) had to fit in the backpack so I didn't have to drag even more stuff.  So Alex fills up the backback and then attaches toys to it.  When I said that didn't really qualify as "in" the backpack she said that it counted because I didn't have to carry the toys separately as they were attached.  Well, ok, I'm going to lose that argument so I gave up

They had a good day especially since their favorite cousin is there to help Grandma with keeping an eye on the two of them which I know Grandma really appreciates!

What is this?

The kids were very excited about Father's Day this year -- Mac is very into holidays of any kind lately  

Alex took too long to wake up yesterday morning so Mac went in and bounced on her bed telling her that Daddy wanted his Father's Day cards right away!  We had found him a really neat Star Wars one which we all agreed would be perfect for him.  He liked it a lot.  Then he and the kids got out the two lightsabers and played Star Wars through the house for a while scaring the heck out of the dog and the cats   We also got him a movie -- Shaun the Sheep which because it's by the creators of Wallace and Gromit I knew he would also enjoy.

We had steaks on the grill for dinner and invited Robert's parents down.  Mac was so excited about the card he and Alex had picked out for Grandpa that he had to call him at lunchtime and tell him about it   It was a hamster card that talked in a funny voice about how great Grandpa's are -- very cute.  We had a nice dinner complete with the dessert that the kids help me make -- blueberry cream cheese coffee cake.  It's one of Robert's favorite desserts because it has blueberries in it and it's quite tasty. 

So it was a good Father's Day for us -- I hope everyone here had a good one also!

What is this?

I must say that the library events are a wonderful thing for us right now -- free activities that get me and the kids out of the house   Alex will be done with her critter club next Monday so she'll be joining Mac and I after that.

Today Mac and I went to a story time about cats (to celebrate Garfield's birthday) and Mac had  a good time making cat ears to wear and a pasta necklace (in honor of Garfield's love of lasagna   Then in the afternoon we went to a 50's dance party.  I don't usually like to do two events in one day but the dance party was at the library right near our house and we had to pick up Alex afterwards so we went.  Mac learned to do fun dances like the Mashed Potato and the Twist and the bouncing around was good for his energy level.

Then we picked up Alex we had a water day today -- they spent the whole day playing in water -- she was wet and tired and thirsty.  But she said it was a lot of fun!

So both kids had fun today

What is this?

Mac had a great playdate the other day with his new "buddy" Henry.  We all went to Mastadon playground.  Henry and his three older brothers and Mac.  For a change Mac had plenty of boys to play with   Mac, Henry and Joe (who is 6-7) had the most fun together and I think they found every bit of mud and water in the park!  I had to strip Mac down before he could set foot inside and then it was straight into the bathtub so I could see if there was still a kid under all that mess   But he really enjoyed it and it was nice to see him have a chance to play with some boys for a change.  

So Alex had a playdate this week, Mac had a playdate this week and I'm ready for a really long nap!

What is this?

A fairly quiet day which is nice.  Alex and I went to church this morning.  Then I did chores around the house.  In the afternoon I took Alex to her riding lesson -- she's doing so well, working on posting now.  She got to ride Sky today which she always enjoys -- Sky is a palomino and very pretty.  She has horse camp coming up in July and she's really excited about that as well. 

Now I'm just finishing up laundry and getting dinner ready -- tuna fish and pasta salad and some fruit.  Nothing fancy.  I made brownies so we'd have something sweet to nibble on later. 

And that's about it for the day.  Here's to a low stress week <crossing fingers>

What is this?

Alex is having a playdate this afternoon with her best friend from school.  Amazing how exhausting I find playdates since I worry about making sure everyone has a good time and that Mac doesn't feel too left out -- I find things for him and I to do so he doesn't bug the girls too much.  They seem to be having a good time though, so that's good.

And, something kind of funny, Mac met a new friend at the library the other day. A little boy who has the exact same birthday -- how unlikely is that   So we're going to see about setting up a playdate for him and his new buddy next week at one of the parks.

At least the kids will have a social life even if I don't

What is this?

Alex and Mac are so excited because we have a bird's nest in our small apple tree.  It's a Cardinal which Alex told me would have made her great-grandmother very happy -- it was her favorite bird   I'm impressed that Alex remembered that actually!   We had a long talk about not running or yelling around the tree so that the mama Cardinal doesn't get scared -- this was mostly aimed at Mac of course   Alex wanted to provide food so I suggested we put out some birdseed but away from the tree so it doesn't attract other birds and squirrels near the next -- I imagine the mama Cardinal would not appreciate that much.  We looked up via Google what Cardinal eggs look like -- white with brown speckles it seems -- and we've talked about how neat it would be if there were little baby Cardinals later this summer.  

I'm hoping there will be eggs and babies so the kids can see the process -- I think if we use our binoculars we can look into the nest from the deck -- bird stalking 101

What is this?

Alex has been doing this summer school club through the school district called Critter Club.  She's been really excited about it, especially since her best friend from school is also in it.  Yesterday they had the first of three field trips -- to Mastadon Park.  They were taken to one of the streams by a "Stream Team" guide and got to use nets and stuff to catch critters.  Alex said they caught crawfish (which she was very excited about) and tadpoles and dragonflies and damselflies.  They got to wade around in the stream and get throughly wet and muddy.  Then they hiked on the trails and looked for more bugs and things.  She had a great time for which I was glad since it was raining in the morning and I was worried they wouldn't get to go.

Mac had his swim class last night -- his second with the new teacher (Naomi).  He's just not doing as well with her which I was concerned about -- I think he really needs a guy to teach him, he listens better and is less rowdy with a male teacher.  But they don't seem to have many young men who teach swimming.  So I'm not sure what to do about that at the moment.  Always these decisions to make!

What is this?

I think he's been inside too long today -- rainy days tend to bring out the worst in him because he can't get out and run around.  But, honestly, he's bugging the cats, he's bugging the dog, he's bugging his sister, he's bossing everybody, he's saying "NO" about everything and he's driving me up a wall!  Aargh!  And it's only 3 p.m. so we still have plenty of time left for me to go even more insane.  He told me he wanted to watch Wall*E -- great, that should keep him quiet for a bit I thought.  I found the movie and got it going and then he says he doesn't want to watch it after all.  Maybe tomorrow.  Sigh.  He's been like this all day, going from one thing to another to another and not staying anywhere very long. 

The best part of the day was taking Alex with me to church this morning -- I had an hour of peace and quiet.  And that was the only hour I think I'll get today  

I'm going to go practice a nice mantra about being patience with little boys

What is this?

We went out tonight for our Anniversary dinner -- since we were able to talk Grandma and Grandpa into watching the kids for a couple hours.  We went to Subzero and had sushi which was really good.  Then we walked about for a bit and then went for ice cream at Baskin Robbins (we thought about going to Ted Drewes as we had on our first date but the line was really long and we didn't want to be out too late).  It was a very nice evening. 

Earlier today I took the kids up to Cliff Cave library for their "fun day" which kicks off the summer reading program.  I signed up both kids and then they played games, made balloon animals, visited the face painter (Alex got a snake on her hand, Mac a smiley face on his cheek) and got some fun goodies -- bubble wands   They had a great time!  They are outside now playing with the bubble wands with the neighbor kids

What is this?

Today is our Anniversary amazingly enough -- it's been 16 years.  I remember on our first date, after seeing a movie, we went out for ice cream at Ted Drewes and walked around the neighborhood just talking and talking.  Then he drove me home and we as so nervous he forgot to walk me to the door   He came to my office the next day at work and apologized for that -- I thought he was so sweet   We've gone through some real ups and downs and we're going through some stressful times right now but we seem to keep plugging along and I guess that is what marriage is in the end -- you stick together through thick and thin -- you're a team! 

What is this?

Well, Alex has finished kindergarten -- yhea!  And she brought home an excellent report card -- yhea!  And she's very excited about Critter Camp starting on Thursday.  It's through the school district and will run for 13 days.  It's all about animals and they will do three trips.  Even better her best buddy will be in it as well   So that's all good.  The only thing she was upset about is that the teacher she has been given for First Grade is "mean" according to the other kids -- sigh.  I told her that didn't necessarily indicate that the teacher was really "mean" -- maybe the teacher would really like her.  She wasn't buying that though.  Let's hope the "mean" part is over done and the teacher really isn't -- or it will be a long first grade year -- sigh.

What is this?

Last week Mac and I went to a story time at the library that was about cooking.  He was really looking forward to this as he loves to help me make things.  I wasn't sure how it would go since he's such a finicky eater but thought we'd at least get to hear the stories and stuff.  I'm glad we went -- he had a great time.  They first made bagels with cream cheese decorated with raisins.  The kids ate those while listening to some stories.  I had no idea that Mac would even eat a bagel with cream cheese but he informed me that he likes them -- well, ok, then I'll add that to the (very small) list of things he will eat!  Then they made fruit kabobs -- Mac made one with strawberries, pineapple, bananas and marshmallows.  He had a great time putting it all together and then eating it while listening to a few more stories.  Each child got a copy of some "kid-friendly" recipes including the ones they had just made and stickers as well. 

When we left I asked Mac if he had a good time and he told me it was "really cool" and he had "great fun"  

What is this?

Honestly I don't know how I am going to cope with all the stress I'm under right now -- it could be weeks before things are resolved (hopefully they will be resolved and I can move forward with my life) and every day I am under such constant stress that I have a hard time just moving forward to do anything.  I keep pushing myself to do things but I wonder if one of these days I'm just going to give up and not move anymore -- sigh.  It's tempting. 

I spent today doing a bunch of work for DH's business.  I've been able to help him out a lot more and get him much more organized.  I've even gone on a couple bids with him to take notes which makes his life easier. 

Mac was supposed to have a swim lesson tonight but it got rained out.  Alex had her riding lesson last night and did great -- she is doing so well this year with riding -- taking it seriously and listening to her teacher.  I'm sad that she won't be able to do the horse show but we just can't afford that expense now.  We'll be lucky to keep her riding and Mac swimming for a while -- sigh. 

Tomorrow I'm taking Mac to the library for storytime and we'll do the grocery store and then more work for DH.  I wish I could calm down somehow but I guess that won't happen for a while at this rate. 

What is this?

We went to our nephew's graduation party today -- amazing to think that he's old enough to graduate high school!  I have watched him grow up, it just doesn't seem possible that he's already 18 years old.  The time has really flown by it seems.

Alex and Mac had a great time -- they adore both their cousins.  And Mac loves to dig around in the toy boxes in their basement -- I didn't see him for most of the party he was so busy down there   He did show up for cake though

I took Mac up earlier to pick up a graduation card for tonight plus a card for his swim teacher Spencer who also graduated high school (the same school as our nephew interestingly enough).  Mac is really excited that he has a card for Spencer that he picked out all by himself!

What is this?

DH is a huge Star Trek fan so we went this afternoon to see the new movie.  We weren't sure if we'd like it since we both grew up with Star Trek and we had heard that this one was quite different.  But it wasn't too bad -- I enjoyed seeing Leonard Nimoy as Spock again.  He was always my favorite  

What was funny is that we went to the 10:15 showing and we were the only two people in the whole theater for that movie!  Not good for the theater but really nice for us.  I enjoyed the quiet and the fact there wasn't anybody to kick the back of my seat -- one of my big pet peeves when it comes to movies.  It was neat to be the only two people watching the big screen

It almost made up for not so great news in the morning that made me really upset about life in general.  The stress continues -- sigh.

What is this?

Ok, I admit that I'm a tad stressed out with some of the things going on in my life right now.  So I'm testy -- I admit it.  Today I took Mac to Shop N Save because they are having the $10 off Thursday.  I knew we would be buying more this week then usual and I wasn't looking forward to a big shopping trip much.  And then we got going later then usual so by the time we got there it was very crowded -- sigh.  And Mac is bouncing off the walls with tons of energy and I'm dragging because I haven't been sleeping well and I'm worrying constantly. 

So we're in the cereal aisle and Mac is looking at the boxes right across the aisle from me -- he's in my peripheral vision so I know he's not doing anything wrong (at the moment ).  He backs up a bit to see higher on the shelf and bumps into this older lady who was standing almost right behind him -- it was seriously crowded in there.  She let's out this yell -- you would have thought Mac plowed over her rather then just bumping her.  I immediately corral Mac back to my side and apologize to the lady for his bumping into her.  She glares at me and mumbles something which I didn't catch but was probably not very complimentary about young children an/dor my son.  I glared back -- he didn't do it on purpose after all.  And she marched away in a huff.  I asked Mac to be more careful please but really the place was so busy that everyone was crowding everyone else -- I so hate crowded places -- sigh.

I was so glad to get out of that place today.  I really need to remember to go earlier in the future -- at least that would give Mac and I more space between us and any grumpy older folks

What is this?

I did some errands for Robert and then I spent some time in the garden.  I haven't had time to do any gardening in what seems like years so it's nice to be out there and it makes a good distraction as well.

The strawberry plants have little green strawberries on them -- they're so cute   And the tomato plants have flowers -- a good sign, I assume.  I mulched a lot around everything to keep down the weeks and then watered.  I have the tomato plant stakes in place for when they get bigger.  I'm pretending I have a clue about how to actually grow veggies   I remember as a kid my grandparents (who raised me) had huge gardens and they always made it seem so easy -- everything seemed to grow and thrive for them.  I envy their "green thumbs" now -- but I figure even a few strawberries and tomatoes will feel like an accomplishment so it's worth doing.  The kids really love the idea.  Mac likes to look at "his" strawberries! He'll enjoy eating any that we manage to grow at least.  I do need to get the netting put on them though or the birds will harvest them long before we do!

What is this?

I've been gone for a few days stressing out about everything.  I'm still stressed out but I'm trying to pretend to have a "normal" life while I wait for more news.  Mac really enjoyed the library event last week -- the librarian did a great job with the Circus theme and he had a blast.  It always makes me happy to see him enjoying himself.  I did go see the Deacon at our church and we had a good talk.  I'm going to go talk to the Priest tomorrow to talk about such weighty topics as forgiveness -- should be an interesting discussion but maybe it will help me feel better. 

Nothing much else to report, I'm just trying to hang in there.

What is this?

I've emailed the Deacon at our church thinking maybe I could talk to him -- I'm waiting to see if he replies.  I hope he replies since right now I feel like everything is falling apart.  I need to talk this out, get it out of my system, and hopefully be able to move foward from there.   I can't really talk to DH about it since he doesn't want to listen right now -- I always need to talk more then he wants to listen -- isn't that so often the case -- sigh. 

I'm supposed to take Mac to the library today -- I promised him.  So I will pull myself together and do that, I don't want to disappoint him.  But I really would rather just stay home.  But to the library we will go, and then the grocery store.  Today's library theme for story time is the Circus -- maybe I could run away and join one!

What is this?

It's just been an awful day.  I can't go into much as far as details because of some legal issues I'm having to deal with but let's just say I'm stresed out and can't calm down right now.  I've been so upset -- my stomach hurts, my head hurts, I can't sleep well and I don't want to eat since my stomach is all upset.  Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed -- sigh.

Since I have nothing good to say about today I think I'll keep this entry short!  It doesn't help that it's gray and rainy and I wish I could hide my head in the blankets and not deal with people at all right now. 

Maybe I can convince the kids to snuggle with me tonight -- that might help!

What is this?

How do I make Alex understand that Mac waits all day for her to come home and play with him and that he gets very hurt when she only wants to play with the girl from across the street?  How do I make her understand that part of being a big sister is caring about how her brother feels, not just how she feels?  How do I make her understand that he's especially lonely right now because we can't afford to send him to preschool to play with his friends there?  I've told her all this but I don't think it sinks in.  I know I'm expecting a lot out of her, she's only six, but on the other hand she's bright and I refuse to let her just push her brother aside and make him cry especially when she let's the oher girls gang up on him and she joins in because she wants to "belong".  It's not fair to Mac that just because he's the only boy to always make him "it" or to hide from him or pretend he's a monster and run away -- sigh. 

These kinds of things just drive me up a wall -- I don't want my little guy to be miserable after he waited all day for his beloved sister to come home -- sigh.

What is this?

Happy Mother's Day everyone!  I hope it's a good one for all of you!!

We're having a quiet day at home.  The kids made me cards and we are having the in-laws down for dinner.  We're going to make beef kabobs on rice and have fruit salad with it.  Nothing too fancy but it will taste great. 

Mac is having a good day -- he and Dad built a robot out of wood scraps -- it has wheels and everything.  He's running around pushing it and saying "I am a Robot" in a funny Robot voice

Other then that I cleaned the house, did some laundry and now I'm hanging out on the computer and occasionally breaking up the kids when the bickering get's too annoying

Have a great day everybody!!

What is this?

It was bound to happen eventually considering that Wiliam Oranges (our yellow tabby cat) has been watching the hamster for months and practically drooling   Today Alex opened the cage door and walked away to get the hamster a snack and the hamster got out.  Alex came running to get me yelling that the hamster was missing and that William had eaten it!  I went the check, definteiy no hamster in the cage.  So we started searching her room in the hopes that the hamster had not strayed far yet.  Then DH called from downstairs that he had William cornered and that William had the hamster!  We all run down and there is Wiliam with the hamster dangling in his mouth and he was not happy about giving it up!  We managed to get the hamster away from him and Tinkerbelle is none the worse for the experience fortunately.  She is safely back in her cage.  And William has gone back to watching and waiting.  He's probably pretty miffed that we took the hamster away from him!  I had a long talk with Alex about not leaving the hamster cage open again -- I could do with less excitement in my life

What is this?

This morning (after a trip to Shop N Save because it was a $10 off Thursday) Mac and I headed to the library for one of their themed story times.  This week was the Tooth Fairy.  Mac thought it was quite neat to meet the Tooth Fairy (a librarian dressed up in wings) and hear books after taking care of one's teeth -- he liked the Maisy one the best.  He got to pick a surprise from the Tooth Fairy's bag and bring home some coloring sheets -- he made sure I had two of each so his sister Alex would have some to color also   We picked out some new videos and then headed home for lunch.  Next week -- Circus stories

If nothing else it gets the two of us out of the house for a while and it's free so I don't have to feel guilty about going -- yhea!

What is this?

After Mac and I got Alex off to school this morning I asked him if he would like to go look for a garage sale -- which he said he did, of course.  Both my kids are big fans of garage sales since they know that it's easier to get me to say yes to a toy that only cost twenty-five or fifty cents then one that costs five or more dollars   And I have been hunting for winter clothes to stock away for the kids as well.

So we went to a couple sales -- I found some clothes and Mac got a couple small toys.  He was very sweet and got a few small things for his sister as well -- he was so nice making sure that we had something to take home for Alex too!

But it was really cute when he found a pop-up Robot book that he really wanted, but there was no price on it.  So I told him to ask the gentleman that was there how much the book cost.  He goes over and very nicely asked what the price was and the man said fifty-cents.  Mac looks up at him with a frown and says "fifty cents!!" in a tone that  implied this was highway robbery   The man said he thought that was an okay price because it was a really nice book (he was smiling so he wasn't upset about it).  Mac agreed the book was very nice and then turned to me and said "Mom, the book is fifty cents, is that ok?"  I gave him the fifty cents and he paid for the book and said thank you.  I really love when he uses his manners in public -- makes me feel like I've done something right with him since he's so challenging in other ways! 

We finished our other errands (gas, Target for kitty litter and Costco for laundry detergent) and now we're home for the afternoon. 

What is this?

I'm feeling very productive this morning

I planted tomatos and strawberries today.  I haven't planted anything in a long time and I thought since I'm home more right now that I might as well do something useful with my garden space.  So I've spent the last week cleaning it up since I have ignored it a lot over the last couple years.  Once it was looking better I bought some Early Girl tomatoes and some Big boy tomatoes as well as Everbearing strawberries.  I've never tried to grow strawberries before but since they are one of Mac's favorite foods I thought it would be fun for him to see them grow and (hopefully) get a few strawberries off them.  Since he'll be home with me a lot now he can help water them which I know he'll think is fun -- anything involving water is high on Mac's list of fun things to do!

I'm hoping they grow and produce some fruit so we can have fresh tomatoes and strawberries  

What is this?

Mondays used to be pretty manic around here with trying to get everyone off to work and school and I was always in a bad mood because I never liked Mondays.  I always spent Sunday night worrying about work and by Monday morning I was not a happy camper.  So while not having a job is not a good thing in many ways I must say I don't miss the manic Mondays!  I like being able to let the kids sleep later and get more rest and then not having to rush them and myself around in the morning frantically trying not to be late.  Robert took Mac up to Grandma and Grandpa's house this morning and I walked Alex to the busstop.  Then I spent the day doing practical things like dishes and laundry and work stuff for Robert's business.  But none of it has to be done at the pace that I would have been rushing about in at work.   Probably also not a bad thing since I am still healing and recovering. 

So being unemployed is stressful in some ways but in other ways it's almost a blessing -- if that makes sense?!

What is this?

It's been a quiet Sunday so far, which is nice.  There's a pot roast in the crockpot and it smells wonderful.  I baked one of Robert's favorite desserts today also -- a Blueberry Cream Cheese Coffee cake.  The kids have been playing outside without too much bickering -- how nice is that!  Alex has found a caterpillar which she has "adopted", of course.  She has named it Callie   Grandma and Grandpa are coming down to dinner tonight (for the pot roast) so I've cleaned up the house and now I'm hanging out online for a few minutes before starting the next load of laundry.  I like quiet Sundays the best!

What is this?

I went to Babymania this morning -- they had a pretty good crowd again so I'm glad I got there early.  I had some good luck and found some winter clothes for both Alex and Mac -- I'm storing away winter clothes as I find them at garage sales and stuff.  I've had pretty good luck so far.

After that I took the kids to the library -- they had a good time as usual picking out videos (two each) and a bunch of books.  I must say that Mac has become so much better behaved in libraries now -- I remember the days when he would throw a fit over every little thing -- boy, I don't miss that!

DH is putting in a new screen door since our other one fell apart after ten years -- he got it on clearance at Home Depot.  The kids are bouncing around outside and Mac is trying to convince me that the ice cream man iscoming -- I told him it would be less expensive if he ate the popsicles we have instead   I don't think he gets the logic of that yet!

What is this?

Sorry that I've been so quiet lately -- I must admit that readjusting to not having a job has been a bit of a challenge.  But I think we're settling into things a bit more and I am not feeling quite so upset about the situation as I was.  While I certainly am still trying to figure out where to find a job I've decided that driving myself frantic about it is not helping.  And that I should try and enjoy the extra time with the kids while I have it!  So I'm going to try and get back to being here more regularly and I've reconnected with my friends over on Gather as well.  It's been quite a while since I've been active over there and it's kind of nice to actually be able to sit down and chat with everybody. 

Today is Mac's last day at Goddard for a while.  We can't afford to keep him there and with me home it doesn't make sense to spend the money anyway.  So he'll be with Grandma/Grandpa on Mondays and Tuesdays and then with me the rest of the week.  He'll probably enjoy that although I think he will miss his buddies at Goddard as well.  He really enjoys it there.  Hopefully we'll be able to send him back in the Fall, if not before. 

Alex has school through the end of May and then she has Critter Club through the school district for most of June.  Then she'll be on the same schedule as Mac until school starts up again.

I'm making plans on how to keep them busy (without spending money :-) during the summer months!

I hope everyone here has been doing well and staying dry!!!

What is this?

So I have no job as of Monday and I spent the week spinning in circles trying to figure out what to do.  No one I've talked to seems to know of anything and every company I've tried is either not hiring or is looking for specific skills I don't even come close to being able to accomplish.  Everywhere I go people tell me about everyone else who doesn't have a job either and how many are still unemployed after months of looking.

I decided today that we're going to have to pull some money from my retirement fund.  It's all going into a black hole right now anyway.  It will give us a bit of a safety net for a couple months while I keep looking frantically.  

I've spent the entire week with a perpetual stomachache because I am worrying non-stop

What is this?

I really could have done without seeing snow this morning!  I mean it was kind of pretty, the big fat snowflakes drifting around for a while, but I am so ready to be done with winter!  I really need Spring now

At least I was able to get the kids, and the dog, out yesterday afternoon to the park before it got really cold.  We went to Mastadon (the playground part) and walked the trails for a bit and then the kids played on the playground for a while.  Lady (the dog) and I watched.  It was nice and I think Lady enjoyed getting away from home for a bit too.  The kids thought it was really fun to have Lady ride in the car with them

Other then that it's back to work today and nothing too exciting -- besides those obnoxious snowflakes -- to talk about so far!

What is this?

I am so tired after the long day we had today.  This morning I had to head up to the library to pick up some books I had requested so I packed up the kids and we headed out.  On the way we stopped at two rummage sales.  Mac hit paydirt when he found a Fisher Price garage for only $2.  He has been wanting a garage for his various little cars since the one his Aunt and Uncle bought as a Christmas present broke after only one days use.  It was cute but not functional for a four year old.  Anyway, he found this one and he's thrilled.  Alex got a kitty puppet that plays music which she really likes and I found some summer clothes for the two of them. 

We went to the library, picked out books and videos, and then came home for lunch.  After lunch we headed to Alex's riding stable for an Easter party.  We spent the entire afternoon there.  They had some games, lunch, a huge Easter egg hunt (so many eggs, the kids had a blast!) and rides on the stable "gator".  After several hours of non-stop running all over the grounds of the stable I was suprised both kids were still upright!  Certainly I was tired and I didn't even do any running.

Now I'm trying to just relax and Alex is chattering a mile a minute -- why, on earth, isn't she tired?!   But it was a really nice day and I'm glad the kids had fun!

What is this?

I took Alex to her riding lesson last night.  She has just started back to riding this season and Robert has taken her a couple times so I have not had a chance to see her ride in a while.  I was really impressed, she is getting to be quite the little rider! 

She is going to be in her first horse show this summer so Sara (her teacher) is working on the things she needs to know in order to show well.  She'll be on a lead line (Sara will walk beside her holding the lead line) but she needs to direct the horse on her own in order to impress the judge.  So last night they practiced doing turns while walking, backing the horse up, and trotting, as well as going over the various parts of the saddle, etc. that the judge might ask her about.  She will be riding Western for this show so I need to get  her a pink shirt and a pink cowgirl hat

Sara was so impressed with her backing up the horse by herself that she had Alex demonstrate to some visitors -- Alex did great and everyone made a big fuss over how cute she was and how well she rode.  Alex, of course, enjoyed the attention -- she loves to be in the center of things! 

Alex rode Sky last night which is Sara's palomino.  Sky is just beautiful and she's a total show horse -- very flashy and attracts a lot of attention.  Sara told Alex that because Sky would get the judge's attention it was important that Alex look confident and in control as everybody will notice her too.  Alex doesn't seem troubled by any of that.

Sara said that she has another young rider but that the little girl is too nervous to do the lead line class at the horse show.  Alex couldn't fathom that, she's so excited about going

What is this?

My check up at the surgeon went well this morning -- he says I'm healing nicely and that everything seems to be going great.  I refrained from making a snappish comment about how that is easy for him to say since he didn't have the weeks of terrible gas pains.  Since the gas pains have settled down quite a bit in the last week and I feel more like myself I decided to just smile and nod and let it go.  He did say that it could take six months to a year before I really feel "normal" -- which doesn't surprise me since I already suspected that.  Especially since I take so long to heal.  So I just have to keep going, try not to get sick again (!) and hope for the best.   If I stay healthy I don't have to see him again for another six months -- yhea!

What is this?

I took the kids to the Easter egg hunt at Christ Memorial yesterday.  It was very nice, the kids had a lot of fun.  We were there a bit early (since I wasn't sure where it was and I tend to get lost) so we listened to some songs and the pastor talked a bit about the importance of Easter.  Then the kids went on their egg hunt -- fortunately everything was inside since it was pouring outside!  After the egg hunt we went to the gym where they had all kinds of little games for the kids.  At each game the kids got tickets which they could then trade in for little toys/prizes.  They also had a raffle and I think they gave something to every kid there by the time they were done.  Alex picked out a cute stuffed bunny and Mac got a sleeping teddy that says the goodnight prayer.  They also had face painters and balloon artists.  We were there two hours and I was exhausted by the end!

We came home and had lunch and then had to hurry up to the high school to see Alex's art in the art fair.  I almost forgot about it and it was only open till 2.  But we made it and it was nice to not only see Alex's project but also all the other art work up through the high school level.  I was impressed by some of the art -- very talented!  Alex's art teacher came over and asked to take her picture with her project and then told me that all of Alex's art is just wonderful.  She said Alex has real potential as an artist and suggested Alex look at the high school art so she could see what kind of things she would be doing in the future

What is this?

I spent all of Mac's swimming lesson last night admiring his teacher, Spencer.  Did I mention that Spencer is really nice looking?  And has this wonderful swimmers build?   Of course, I have to pay attention because I'm supposed to be making sure that Mac is behaving, right?  Except that I probably couldn't tell you much about what Mac did last night if you asked me.  Spencer told me at the end of the lesson that Mac did really well so I'll take his word for it! 

I can't believe how awful I'm being!  Fortunately I don't think Spencer notices or, if he did, would even care.  I get the impression from the way he flirts with the other teachers and lifeguards that he's well aware that he's handsome and attracts attention.  And I most certainly am not flirting with him or anything -- just admiring the scenery   Certainly makes the lesson time go by quickly  

On the more serious side, he's really good with Mac and Mac just adores him.   Spencer can do no wrong as far as Mac is concerned and Mac is actually making great progress since starting the lessons with Spencer.  

Hmm, if I sign Mac up for the next session that's how many more weeks of Spencer?

What is this?

Life with a Bugaboo (Mac) is complicated -- he's basically a happy child but he also feels things very intensely.  So when he gets upset he *really* gets upset.  And an outburst can last a while -- he has to work through it in his own good time.  I've found there is very little that will console him or make it less dramatic -- sigh. 

He wants a playmate at home and this has become a real problem for him because there are no young boys (or any boys even remotely close to his age) in our neighborhood.  Alex plays with the older girl (a third grader) from across the street a great deal and Mac usually ends up playing with them.  Which works for a while but then invariably they start bickering because the girls want to control everything or play "girl" stuff without a boy around.  I have tried to explain to Alex why this isn't fair to Mac even though I understand her frustration at having a little brother always in tow. 

I thought I found a solution of sorts because he has a boy at his preschool that he just loves to play with -- so I thought, great, a playdate!  That would make Mac really happy.  So I wrote a nice letter and dropped it in the boy's cubby for his mom.  No answer, for weeks. 

I finally saw her at the preschool.  I had never met her so I went over and introduced myself.  She mentioned receiving the note but they were "too busy" for a playdate.  She said after the holidays would be great.  So after the holidays I saw her and again suggested a playdate -- she brushed it off again, still "too busy."  Ok, I get the message, I'm not that dense!  For whatever reason she doesn't want her son to play with mine. 

I must admit to being slightly hurt by this since I don't see how I (or Mac) could have done anything wrong.  They don't even know us yet!  What is  hard is that Mac (and the little boy) constantly ask to have a playdate -- they are "best friends" they tell me and want to visit each other.  And  I'm left trying to figure out how to get out of answering that. 

I really don't want him to feel hurt and rejected at the age of four!    I can't help but wonder if the other mom is saying no because of his sensory disorder -- which is a minor issue in my mind but when Mac gets excited or nervous he still tends to wiggle his fingers/hands around quickly and sometimes he waves his hands about quickly.  It's become less as he gets older and it has nothing to do with his personality but I wonder if she thinks it means there is something "wrong" with him.  Around the holidays she was there when the kids had a special lunch and Mac sat next to her son -- they were being silly and cute (not being bad just goofy) and she spent the whole time frowning.  I had to resist the temptation to tell her to lighten up   But when Mac did the finger wiggling she practically glared at him and she and her son left soon after.  At the time I figured I was mistaken, that she was having a bad day, but now I wonder if she had decided that Mac is somehow not good enough to be around her son.

I know that the only thing to do is to let it go and perhaps find Mac a playdate with one of the other boys in his class.  He likes some of the other boys although he's not as close to them as he is to this one boy.   I just worry about what will happen to Mac when he starts school -- sigh. 

What is this?

Nothing very exciting going on here -- I'm at work, as usual, and thinking about going home, as usual   I'm doing better about getting through the day but I'm still so tired by the time I can get to bed each night.  I really would like to have 10 hours of sleep a night -- that would be so nice!  Not likely to happen but it still sounds nice.

I've been debating looking for another church for our family.  I was raised Catholic (sort-of) and when we go to church it's always been to the local Catholic one.  But I often wonder, especially now that I have children, if it's the best fit for us.  The church we go to lately is nice but there are not many activities for the kids unless they go to the school (which is too expensive for us nowadays).  There really are not many things that encourage involvement  at all considering the size of the congregation.   So I've been debating whether to look around but since I've never been to a non-Catholic church that feels rather strange to even consider   And I can just imagine what my  husband would have to say about it since he doesn't like the idea of church, any church, at all -- sigh. 

I think this all just goes along with my feeling restless and uneasy with the world and myself right  now.  Everything out in the "world" seems so dark and depressing with so many people losing their jobs, etc.  Add to that my worries about staying healthy and the feeling that life is passing me by very quickly and I wonder what it is I really want to do. 

So there is not much going on here except for my spending far too much time "thinking" about things!

What is this?

It's not much of an update since we didn't do much -- I was determined this weekend to try and have some quiet time.  It didn't really work out because of course I spend a great deal of my time taking care of the kids but I did manage to squeeze in a bit of rest.  Saturday we stayed home and the kids played outside a lot and we did playdough when they came in.  I love the warm weather that allows them to be outside more -- not looking forward to all the rain though.  Not just because they'll be stuck  inside but also because poor Lady (our dog) gets very nervous and upset about storms. 

Sunday morning I was really tired because I had a bad night of sleeping so I let Mac tuck me into his bed and we watched a marathon session of his favorite videos -- Baby Einstein.  He was so cute -- he made sure I was tucked in with his comforter and his favorite blankie and then gave me a couple of his stuffed animals as well.  He asked me if I was hungry or thirsty and then told me that I couldn't have his binkie because "Moms don't need binkies"   And every so often he'd come over and ask if I was "OK"?  He was so sweet -- my little boy who drives me up a wall so much of the time!

In the afternoon I took the kids to the library.  Alex picked out some beginner reader books which she has been proudly reading to Mac and I at bedtime each night.  She is really reading quite well I think.  After the library we went to Target to get cat food and a gift for a friend's little girl who is having a party next Sunday.   I asked Alex to help pick out the gift since it was supposed to be something Little Pet Shop and that is one of Alex's favorite things as well.  She selected the gift and assured me that Luisa would love it because it was just like what Alex got for her birthday and she loved it -- reasonable logic I suppose

Alex is back in school today much to her disappointment.  But I told her it's only about two months to summer vacation -- I'm amazed at how quickly the time is flying past.  I really want to get healthy in time to enjoy the summer with the kids though!!

What is this?

Mac has terrible allergies this time of year -- his nose stuffs up, his eyes get gunky and swell, and he even loses his voice sometimes because his throat gets clogged with the gunk.  We keep him on Zyrtec year round because he tends to have mild allergies year round but when its spring we add in a prescription allergy medicine as well.  I even started him on the prescription medicine early this year hoping that it might offset the worst of the symptoms.  We'll have to wait and see if that works at all.

But this morning he woke up with a stuffy nose, a raspy voice and his eyes were a bit gunky.  He sat up and after telling me everything that wasn't working well, he said "Mommy, I'm breaking up!"  I think he meant that he's falling apart but it was just so funny how he put it   I had to laugh, although I feel really bad for him because he's just not feeling good with all that stuffy gunk -- yuck! 

I love Spring but this part we could do without!

What is this?

The kids were so excited this morning as we had a leprechaun visit last night and when they woke up this morning they found treats   I try to do this every year but this year I lost track of things with being sick.  I realized yesterday that the next day was St. Pat's and I didn't have anything for the kids -- and I hate to disappoint them even though it's a small tradition.  So yesterday I went over to the campus bookstore but, of course, they didn't have the gold coins.  How could they not have the gold coins?!  So I got some green and white gummy frogs thinking that worse case I could tell the kids the leprechaun was being silly this year!  On the way home I stopped by the Walgreens and got lucky -- they had lots of gold coins -- yhea! 

So this morning I dragged myself up a bit early so they'd still be asleep and left them each gold coins and gummy frogs (I decided to use the frogs anyway since they were quite cute and I knew they would like them).  Both kids were so happy with the little leprechaun surprise! 

I know some friends of ours build a leprechaun trap each year but Alex said we shouldn't do that because even though they never actually catch a leprechaun (because they are quite clever) she thinks it's rather mean to even try and trap one, so no trap for us. 

After we talked about the leprechaun visit the kids got dressed -- Alex picked out a green shirt and we talked about her great-great-grandmother Annie who came from Ireland.  Mac refused to wear green today -- he had his shark shirt on and he wasn't about to change Irish or not!

Of course, I don't have a single green shirt in my wardrobe but I figure we have so much Irish in us it doesn't really matter -- as my grandmother always used to tell me -- we're proud of being Irish even if the family was only ditchdiggers and horse thieves

What is this?

Well, I seem to feeling a bit better -- at least the gas pains have gotten better.  I am still spending way too much time in bathrooms but at least the pains are not doubling me over so I'll take that as an improvement!  So I was able to actually take both kids out yesterday for the first time.  We went to a church rummage sale -- I found some summer clothes for the kids (which was great) and I let them each pick out two small toys.  They had a lot of fun digging through the boxes of toys and deciding what to bring home.  Alex found a horse so that was an easy decision   In the afternoon I rested for a bit and the kids played outside.  Then we did playdough which Mac has been begging to do for at least a week.  We had a friend over for dinner last night which was fine but I was getting tired by that point. 

Today we have to go by the second hand store to exchange some shorts that ended up being too big -- I'm hoping to find a spring jacket for Alex since the jacket she had seems to have mysteriously disappeared.  Must be that black hole we have in our house somewhere!  Then maybe to Target since I really need socks -- exciting shopping there   And finally on to the library.  We are getting back into our weekly visits once again -- I've missed doing that with the kids and I know they have missed it also.  For dinner we are going to Grandma and Grandpa's house -- they are making corned beef and cabbage.  I don't think I can eat it yet -- certainly not the cabbage since it would be much too hard to digest as well as too gassy.  So I'll probably have to make a sandwich or something to hold me over.  I just have to be really careful about what I eat especially right now while I'm still healing.

So it's been a pretty good weekend overall and I'm feeling a bit more optimistic about things

What is this?

My husband says that I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt too much, I tell him he's too cynical.  We go around in circles on that one.  But there are still nice people in the world no matter what he says. 

Yesterday I left work early because the surgeon asked that I do a sample so they can make sure that my latest problems are not a recurrance of c-diff (the dreaded bacterial infection that started this whole mess for me way back last May).  The odds of it being c-diff are actually pretty low but since I had it once they tend to be nervous about my possibly getting it again. 

So I went to drop off the sample at the lab.  It was 2:30 and I had to be home by 3:30 to pick up Alex at the bus stop -- should be plenty of time.  Except that there was only one person working at the lab and she seemed more intererested in talking then working and there were several people in the waiting room.  When I was able to catch her attention I asked if I could just drop off the sample since I had to pick up my child -- the doctor's office said that was all I needed to do.  She, of course, said no, you have to wait. 

So I'm waiting and watching the clock get closer and closer to 3 which was my cutoff -- I had to leave by 3 in order to get to the bus stop on time.  The lady finally calls the person who is ahead of me and he gets up and goes to the window.  And he very nicely explains that he would like to let me go ahead of him as I have a child to pick up. 

I thought that was so sweet of him!  The lady processed my paperwork (very slowly) and I was able to get back on the road by a few minutes after 3 and make it to the bus stop with 5 minutes to spare.  I made sure to thank you the gentleman on my way out for being so kind! 

And I told Robert tonight that there are nice people in the world because I met one

What is this?

If I had any sick days left I would have stayed home today -- the gas pains are horrible and I am in a panic that they are indicative of a blockage.  They may not be, gas pains are not unsual when you don't have a colon to help with proper digestion.  But they also could be and I'm working myself into a fit worrying about it -- as I mentioned yesterday.  So I really would have liked to have stayed home today and at least rested since I didn't sleep well either.  But I don't have any sick time left and my work has made it clear that if I don't work a full day they won't pay me.  Isn't that sweet of them, their concern for my well being is so nice -- sigh.  I could easily do my work at home but no, I get to sit here at work and be miserable. 

I hate work at the moment, although I probably could honestly say I hate my life right now.  I'm so tired of being sick and in pain.  Why can't I have a normal, at least semi-healthy life?  I want to spend time having fun with my kids not trying to explain to them why yet again I don't feel good and just want to lay down and have some quiet.  I'm tired of being a lousy mother who can't do things with them.

And you're all really tired of my whining aren't you?   Sorry, it's been one of those weeks it seems.  It's got to get better, right?!

What is this?

Ok, this is mostly just a vent on my part, just so you know and can ignore it

Although considering that I have ended up in the hospital for months at a time twice in the last 12 months I probably have reason to worry, but I really do worry too much.  I worry about what I can and can't eat (because I live in fear of blockages), I worry if there is any change in how I'm feeling (because maybe that indicates a blockage or other physical crisis that will lead to more hopsital time) and I worry about how all another round of illness is going to affect my family, my work (which is not being at all supportive anymore) and my life. 

There is not a lot I can do about all this so I really need to stop worrying as it certainly is not helping -- stress is not going to improve my situation as I well know.  But I'm not feeling my best today and, of course, the first thing I think of is that something is going wrong and I'm getting seriously sick again.  I can't help the feeling of panic that results.  And I can't talk it out with my husband because he doesn't want to hear about more "problems".  So I end up feeling very isolated in my worry.  If I could afford it I'd probably go to a counselor to talk about the problems you face when you have a chronic illness.  But that's way out of our budget right now. 

And, honestly, I feel stupid talking about because I figure I should be able to deal with this on my own.  Life is just far too complicated lately and I just want to go home and take a nap and rest -- but I can't leave work early because they are being so insensitive lately. 

Sorry,  I just really had to vent about all that.  Hopefully I'll feel better soon and everything will calm down again -- crossing fingers hopefully!

What is this?

That's my motto right now -- keeping things going and trying to keep things as normal as possible for the kids while I recover.  The recovery process is slow going -- it's going to be several weeks before the wound from the multiple surgeries heals up (knocking lots of wood that there are not complications during that process!) and I rebuild my strength.  I am already noticing that I'm doing better this week compared to last week.  But it's going to take a while.  And kids are not known for being patient with these things, although I must say that both kids can be very sweet about my having been so sick.  Alex told me last night that I have to be very careful about germs when I change my bandages each evening -- so I don't get sick again.  And Mac tells me how much he missed me when I was gone (in the hospital). 

In the meantime, Alex is starting back to her riding lessons this evening which she is very excited about.  Her teacher said that she will even get to do a show this summer!  And Mac is doing his swimming lessons with Spencer.  Spencer says that Mac is his best student for that age group -- he told Robert that Mac is going to make a really good swimmer which I think is great.  Mac needs something to channel all that energy into and I think swimming is a great choice since he's not so good at turn taking at this point.  Group sports would not be a good choice for him yet.

So life keeps going and the kids seem to be doing well which is reassuring.  Now if I could just convince Mac that riding the wagon down the hill into the woods is not safe no matter how much fun he thinks it is!!!

What is this?

It was so pretty this weekend (we only had one rainstorm on Sunday and that didn't last very long).  The kids were outside pretty much all day which was great because I was able to get some things done around the house without them bouncing off the walls (as they have been doing most of the winter) and also to rest a bit.  In between doing such fun things as washing off shoes that were full of mud (multiple times) and then washing off Mac's feet (also multiple times) when he decided that shoes were unnecessary and he'd just play in the mud barefoot --sigh.   Robert would have had a fit if he knew about that but honestly a ltitle mud isn't going to harm Mac and after they were both done for the day I popped them in the tub and gave them a good scrubbing.  Amazing the amount on dirt they accumulated! 

I wish I could convince Robert to calm down about things -- he gets so worked up about everything, even the little stuff -- or at least the things that I think of as little stuff.  Like getting muddy.  As long as the kids don't track the mud through the house I don't care if they get a bit muddy making mud pies or whatever else it is they are doing.  At one point they were making a "clubhouse" on the deck and later Mac was stacking the firewood into some kind of modern sculpture -- I helped him move it before Robert got home and fussed about it.  What does it matter if Mac wants to stack the firewood as long as he puts it back when he's done?  What does it matter if they take their play blankets outside for the clubhouse as long as they bring them back in when they're done (and keep them out of the mud)?   Robert keeps saying he never was allowed to do things like that when he was a kid which I think is a shame.  I had a very different childhood I guess -- I played outside all summer and never worried about getting into trouble as long as I wasn't destroying something, etc. 

I do still have to remind Mac periodically about sharing and not throwing a temper tantrum when his sister and the neighbor kids don't do what *he* wants -- but he does seem to be getting better about that.  At least it seems like I had to remind him about it less this weekend then in the past -- maybe there is hope for him yet

But it was such a beautiful weekend and the kids had a great time being outside.  What a relief to get them out of the house!!

What is this?

Mac (who is known by his nickname Mac Mac Bugaboo courtesy of his sister) has been trrying very hard to earn a reputation for being a real pain.  I've been trying to be patient but DH has not been in the mood to deal with a bossy four year old so they are often at loggerheads.  It makes for very long evenings lately --sigh. 

Last night Mac got in trouble with Dad for not cleaning up the toys he left scattered all over the kitchen floor and which he had been asked to pick up several times.  Robert told him he had to pick up the toys and then get into bed (since it was nearing bedtime) or he would lose the little tv that he has in his room (which only plays dvd's).  Mac picked up the toys (with a lot of fussing) and then sat on his bed and wailed like he was being tortured -- he's nothing if not melodramatic   I'm sure the neighbors think I'm the worlds worst parent -- sigh. 

After a suitable amount of wailing he got very quiet.  Then I hear, in a loud clear voice -- "Bad daddies do not take my tv, bad daddies need to go to bed and stay there."  I had to work hard not to laugh so Mac wouldn't hear me -- he was so emphatic about it   I'm glad Robert was downstairs at the time as he would have been angry about more "backtalk"! 

I honestly don't know what to do with Mac lately but just  hang on for the ride and see where we end up.  Whereas Alex could be corrected with just a look Mac argues and balks and fights every step of the way.  I can get away with saying to Alex that she has to do something because that's just the way it is, not so with Mac, even if I have a good reason he's going to try and get around it.  He's going to be a real joy in school -- I foresee many parent-teacher discussions!

What is this?

Well, I'm settling back into work.  I was so tired last night -- it was exhausting even though all I really do is sit at a desk all day.  But just doing that was hard work it seems!  Today will actually be even harder since I drove today (for the first time in over a month).  I never realized how much driving can affect your stomach muscles -- ouch!  And every bump in the road makes me wince -- sigh.  But I made it.  I used one of the kids blankets to pad underneath the seatbelt since it hits right where the wound is, of course, and that helped.  But I think I'm going to need two hours just to recuperate from the long drive and then the walk from the parking lot to my building (which is a pretty good hike)!

The kids have been really happy that I'm back at home, but I must admit that Mac is trying my patience right now.  He is just so wild -- quite literally bouncing off the walls!  I know it's a phase and that he will outgrow it (well, I sure hope so) but right now he's driving me bonkers.  It doesn't help that I tire so easily and I'm moving very slowly although that is improving a bit day by day.  Patience, I need patience!!!

What is this?

Well, I'm back at work after a week home recuperating.  I would have liked to have a bit longer to recover but since I have not been paid since the 10th of last month and we can't afford to keep going on like that, I'm back to work whether I like it or not.  So I'm taking it very easy today.  Very, very slow!  I've gotten rid of all the machines and tubes and wires I had when I came home from the hospital so that's a relief.  Now I just need to gain some weight and some strength -- to get healthy once again.  That's my goal for the spring/summer.  And not to get sick again -- that would be ideal!!

Hope everyone here has been doing well, I should be able to post more regularly now that I'm back at work

What is this?

I'm so glad to be home.  I was released yesterday afternoon, so I was home in time for a late lunch.  I was so happy!  I just wish I felt better but that is going to take a bit of time.  I hate dragging the two machines around with me -- they're heavy even though they are small and I am forever worrying about tripping over wires or hooking the wires on something.  Bah!  I have two different pain medications but the one makes me sick to my stomach and that's not good since the antiobiotics also make me rather sick so the two together are awful and the other knocks me out -- I take it at bedtime.  But Tylenol and Motrin are not strong enough -- sigh.  I guess I will have to plan on an afternoon nap each day so I can take a pain killer! 

So I'm home and trying to recuperate -- I just did this back in May, I really didn't want to have to do it again!

What is this?

The surgeon checked in this morning and said he is hoping to have me home by dinnertime!  Yhea!  It's all very complicated because I have to take so many things with me and so a lot of home health care has to be coordinated and set up.  It's very confusing.  I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed with it all.  But once I get home and settled I think it will be all right.  I'm just so glad to be getting out of here!!!

What is this?

Well, they won't release me today.  I just knew that CAT scan was going to be a problem -- the drain has not gotten rid of enough of the infection and they don't want to "cut corners" in light of all the problems that I've had.  They are saying maybe tomorrow but I'm so depressed right now that they could have said next week because there is no way to know how the drain will react -- if it doesn't respond well then I could be stuck here for many more days waiting for it to work

And they said they might want to move the drain to a different spot -- a big problem for me since I wouldn't be able to have any major sedatives this time as I'm eating regular food.  And putting drains in is painful -- major sedatives are the only way to go in my opinin.  I have a low pain threshold and a lot of the regular pain killers just don't work for me well.  So now I'm worried about that.

DH is upset, the kids are upset -- it's just not fair (and yes, I know, life isn't fair but I'm tired of this). 

What is this?